Holding of Wrist

How To NOT let Valentines Get You Down

Instead of writing a long drawn out blog about how *awesome* Valentines Day can be if you really try, I’m going to write a “How to NOT let Valentines Get You Down,” piece… in list form. So, while you shuffle your way down the hall upset that the guy from your English class didn’t give you any chocolate or that your girlfriend dumped you, read this. I promise your day will not suck.

10. Do not turn on ANY romantic movies tonight. Seriously, though… locking your gal pals in your basement watching the *perfect* Ryan Gosling sweep ANOTHER WOMAN off her feet will put you into a bad attitude for months!

9. Eat pizza. Don’t question us. Extra cheese? Gluten free? You got it. I swear, I think pizza heals all broken hearts.

8. Write about it. Now, this is a bit more serious one, but what a better way to document and express yourself than writing about it. If you’re upset you’re single, like me, write about it. If you’re happy and in-love, write about it. If you’re struggling with depression, trying to come out to your family, or just need someone to vent to, your pen and paper will not judge you… and neither will we. Don’t have paper, type! If you can’t type, well, how are you reading this?? 

7. Make sure you have some sort of plans tonight. Go call an old friend. Talk to your mom. Chat with us online. Tonight, I (Colleen) will be online from 7pm Eastern time until 9 pm Eastern Time. If you won’t be online, send us a message. We would love to spend Valentines Day with you!

6. Put on a new outfit… even if you can’t buy it. Set it as a goal. You deserve to feel good about yourself. You are fabulous.

5. Listen to your favorite song OVER AND OVER again. It really helps. And feel free to sing it aloud so that your sleeping neighbors can hear you. (But not so loud the cops come.)

4. Go on a walk. If it’s freezing (like NYC), walk around your house, apartment, or condo. Get those legs moving. Start breathing. You are alive and here for a reason. Your breath and lungs indicate that you have value. You are important. Don’t hesitate to bring a friend with you.

3. Tweet us @holdingofwrist

2. Know that you are loved and we do this for you. YOU are important. You matter. You are why we do what we do. WE LOVE YOU…. every bit, even the dark parts you don’t like.

1. Lastly, try to remember… it’s just a holiday. It’s just a day. It’s just Thursday. So, chin up. Eat some pizza, talk on the phone, and do some homework. Love hard. Love much. Love often.

Remember, love cures pain. We are here for you. You are important. You have a purpose.

Happy Valentines Day.

Never Let The Muggles Get You Down

On Tumblr, someone reblogged a sweatshirt saying, “Don’t let the muggles get you down.” Quickly, I reblogged that and went on my way. Many of you might not know, but I have a fascination with Harry Potter. If you’ve been living under a rock, Harry Potter is a series of seven fantasy novels and eight blockbuster movies. It follows a wizard named Harry Potter, nicknamed the boy who lived, through his struggles through adolescence, friendship, love, and death. In the end, he must sacrifice himself to save the world from Voldemort. The books were first published in 1997. I was in elementary school for the first time after being home schooled. I kept hearing about this Harry Potter so I took a book from the library. My mother made me return it because I stole it and it was about wizards. I should have known since I wasn’t even allowed to watch Scooby Doo.

As an adult, I have read all the novels and seen all the movies. Harry Potter made me believe in something bigger than myself. J.K. Rowling’s ability to write a character who literally came to life for me inspired me to write as well. I wanted to be a writer… until someone told me something I will never forget. My first year in college, I was told that I was not a good writer. A professor of mine who apparently was a former TV news anchor called me out in the front of the class. He said I would never make it as a writer because no one wants to hear what I have to say and what I did say was not interesting enough. Frankly, if someone told me that now, I would punch them in the nose telling them, “GET LOST.” I didn’t. I let the muggle get me down.

I went a whole year without writing. That year between 18-19 was when I started to lose myself. Without writing, something triggered in me. That trigger was those voices that tell you that you are no good. These voices tell you that you aren’t worth anything. They don’t just come once; no, they repeat themselves until you make them your own truth. Those voices later lead me to my own thoughts of suicide. That cold February almost six years ago, I write a cry for help on my social media page. 

See, the muggle that got me down told me that no one wanted to hear what I had to say and no one was listening to me. He was a liar. My best friend was reading what I wrote and saved my life that night. I will never forget that night she saved me and took me to safety. My best friend proved that my muggle was wrong. 

Humans are muggles. We all are muggles. We say things we don’t mean. We hurt people we love the most. We are our own worst enemy at times. The one thing I want to tell you as the cold month lingers at your door steps, never give someone the power to make you feel a certain way about yourself. Only you can silence the demons. You must tell yourself you are beautiful and smart and lovely and have purpose. Only you can tell yourself the truth. After all, you are the one believing it. So, stop letting the muggles get you down. Open your eyes. Look in the mirror and look DEEP DOWN. You are a human with purpose. You are breathing because there is an evident plan for your life. 

And never let the muggles get you down.

Welcome to 2013.

Welcome to 2013. Now that we have the year in full force, I want to write a blog as if I am sitting in a cafe talking to you… just you. Once upon a time, I was lost. I didn’t know who I was. I used self-harm as a drug to get me through my day. I didn’t know how to deal with life and I didn’t have a way out. Years later, I look back at that former person and cannot believe the transformation. I cannot believe how far I have come and where I am going. I am just like anyone else who has been through something and has worked through their issues. I am just a person. I am just a human.

With the birth of a new year, changes must come. I am sure you are not the same person you were a year ago. You’ve probably grown, physically or mentally. You have changed yourself to become the new version of yourself. You might hate this change or you may have embraced it… but it happened. You cannot control change. See, that’s what sucks life out of people. You try to control change.

Change comes in many shapes and sizes. Dimes, quarters, nickels, and pennies… we all have changed collecting. We all add up our change to make a difference. I have tried to… and sometimes I measure up and sometimes I don’t. But, change happens.

So, what do we do with that change? As much as we want to keep the change to ourselves and not do anything, we must invest in something. We must use the change or it will weigh us down. Change must be invested or it goes to waste.

Let this new year be the year of investing in change. Although you may set resolutions that seem big now, you have to use your pennies, nickels, dimes, and quarters… you have to use the simplistic pieces to complete the whole. You must takes steps up the ladder. No one can jump that high.

That’s why stairs exist. They go on step at a time. Some are short, little steps… some are steep and hard to climb… but they get you to your destination.

This year, do something small to change yourself. Help out someone you don’t know. Ask someone to help you with a problem. See a tutor to help you with homework. Start a blog (I did… and you can follow me!). Write a letter or a card for someone who needs encouragement. Volunteer at an animal shelter. Give some money to charity. DO SOMETHING BIGGER THAN YOURSELF.

Change happens. Life doesn’t wait for the sleeping. It goes on. Wake up and spend it wisely. You might be impressed where it takes you.

Shooting In Newtown Connecticut

Horror. Today has been horrific  Some will blame God. Some will blame guns. Some will blame video games and the parenting of Adam Lanza’s parents. As we search for answers, we return empty handed. Why would God let this happen? Why would a 20 year old have so many guns? Does this prove that video games cause violence? And who were his parents raising him to be? These questions are circulating and many will try to explain. There are no answers to these questions.

My heart breaks during this difficult time. I cannot answer why someone would shoot children or why this would happen to such a small town. What I can say is this: YOU MATTER. The one thing I wanted to do today was hug my niece and nephew. I wanted to hug my mom and brother. I wanted to be with my family and cry. No matter what is going on, now, more than ever, am I glad to exist. I am glad to be alive. The one thing we will always remember after a tragedy is who is there after the event. Although we all may not be physically involved, we can all do our part to be there. Tragedy reminds us that life is worth living, and we need to hold on to love.

A few ways you can get involved is pray. If you don’t believe in religion or God, you may not understand the power that comes with prayer. Prayer is the quick silent denial of self and communication with God or nature or the powers that be to protect, guide, and show love to those whom your prayers are for. Prayer has changed my life and has the power to change the world. You will never see instant effects of a prayer, but you will never know its power until you do.

If you do want to talk, we are here. The biggest struggle is what to say after a tragedy. If you are sad, talk to someone. If you are mad, talk to someone. More than ever, we need to pray, and we need to have a conversation. Today, innocence was taken. All I can do as just a regular person is pray, cry, pray some more, and be thankful for the life I’ve been given. There is a reason I am here today. There is a reason you are reading this right now. You are given life. You have a purpose. You have a reason.

Instead of blaming God, gun control, video games, and parents, we need to be thankful for what we have now. We need to hug those who we love. We need to be thankful to be alive. After today, we will go on. We will make this a distant memory. But, we will NEVER forget how we feel. So, remember that you have a purpose and you are loved. Thank you for your ongoing support. Please email us at info@holdingofwrist.com if you need to talk.

We love you.
You are important.
Love Cures Pain.

Hurricane Sandy Aftermath

William Faulker once wrote, “”The past is never dead. It’s not even past.” I never understood what he was talking about, but I liked it so much that it was my senior quote that year. I remember writing it all over my yearbook in high school as to shed some light on my own life. Well, this month, I’ve been going through old things and remembering my days in high school. I remember this quote, six years later. And six years later, I am suddenly brought to tears.

Last week, many of you either experienced or heard about Hurricane Sandy. I had not mentally prepared for my first hurricane living on the east coast. Not only that, but I was on duty for my job with 18 Chinese international high school students whom also had never been in such a storm. Living in New York, I have adopted the typical behavior of a New Yorker. (I have even adopted the authentic New Yorker accent.) The behavior of a New Yorker is tough and strong while being able to endure everything that challenges them. I thought I had adopted it. Under pressure, I realize I had not.

I wanted to give up so badly last week. I wanted to throw in the towel and quit. I wanted to run away from my problems and never come back. The storm only liquified my frozen problems I locked away in the freezer. All the issues I had from high school that scared me (i.e. growing up, becoming an adult, not freaking out…) was suddenly hitting me in the face. And in that, I cried.

See, William Faulkner was right. In his play “Requiem for a Nun,” he had this breakthrough. See, the past is the past, and sadly, it is always with you. Sometimes even the unchangeable things cannot change because they are apart of the past and are never truly dead. It isn’t the past that ruins people but it is the existing presences of the past that slowly chokes the future and all its promise. The past never dies because it always remains in you.

This week, I realized my past has not died. All my fear and anxiety about always having control has never left me. To this day, I still have this fear that I will be alone and I will mess up so bad. I’m not sure why it is still here, but it is.

Well, this month, I am writing a book. I want you all to see it. I want to be inspired. I want to be renewed. So, with that said, on Saturday, November 17, 2012, we are having an event in NYC. It is our first ever “Free Hug NYC,” in honor of those who just need to be renewed since Hurricane Sandy. I, for one, could use a hug. I bet you do as well. So, join with me on Saturday (click here for details) to give out free hugs in Times Square! I hope to see you there!

National Coming Out Day

In 1987, long before most of you (and even I) were born, over a half of a million people marched in Washington DC for Gay and Lesbian rights. Twenty-five years later, we have seen a change. Although change is good and humanity of one’s own morality is subjective, many have stood against the progress and act of Gay Rights. Yet, twenty-five years later, here we stand in 2012 celebrating one of the most liberating days of the whole year.

One year later, in 1988, the first EVER “National Coming Out Day,” was recorded. October 11 marks twenty-five years since that march. Over two decades ago, it was not ok to be who you are. It was not ok to talk about sexuality. It was not ok to be proud of the part of you that seemed so natural. Today, we celebrate National Coming Out Day by promoting a safe world. Today, we encourage those to live openly and freely. Today, we celebrate you: gay, straight, bi, pan, trans, or even confused. 

Coming out isn’t just simply stepping out of the closet; it is choosing to live openly knowing that there will be a target on your back for the rest of time. Sadly, the world is not easy and is not always safe. Those who chose to come out are often bullied and mocked. They are ridiculed for being proud of who they are and standing up for what they believe is right. The world is not fair. It was never meant to be. 

So, today, whether you are gay, straight, bi, pan, trans, or questioning EVERYTHING, know that today is your day in your heart. If you chose to come out today, remember that we are here. We love you. We chose you. We need you. Today, tell someone (ANYONE) that you love them. Life is too short to regret missed opportunities to love someone. Life is too short to live behind a mask that burdens you. Life is too short to be idle. And please, stand against bullying. Bullying is never ok or acceptable. Life is too short to be a bully.

Live your life boldly and willing to lose it all. A life worth living is a life with risks. A life worth living is NEVER easy. But know, we are never EVER put in situations we cannot bear for everything has a rhyme and reason. You are planned. You have a purpose. You are hopeful. You are loved. 

“Those who are free inspire others to fly.”

SPW Blog #6: LIVE SHOW

Tune in Saturday, September 15th, at 7pm est for our Suicide Prevention Week Wrap-up LIVE SHOW! Go to www.stickam.com/JimmyElliott! 

SPW Blog #5

Friday’s blog comes from anonymous, here is their story. Don’t forget to tune in TOMORROW 7pm est for Holding of Wrist’s live Suicide Prevention Week show! It’ll be on Stickam. Tune into our Facebook & Twitter to stay updated!

-Holding of Wrist

My biggest advice is: Get help and/or talk. Just one person, find a group or find a form of therapy that may not be going to a therapist if it didn’t work out for you. An art outlet is always therapeutic. Paint, draw, write, sing, or admire art. There are more forms of therapy than the obvious, and sometimes they can be more life saving than talking about it to a therapist. 

When my uncle died, I wanted to die too. I didn’t know a world without him, and I didn’t want to find out. My parents never knew about all of the depression and suicidal thoughts I would have between the ages of 11 and 14. When I was 13 I started to play guitar. I wanted to do something I knew would take my mind away from everything and still be able to do in memory of my uncle. It has made all the difference. Being able to express myself, without someone asking me questions is how I am able to function and get through whatever rough patch I am in. I’m now 19 and I can say, since my uncle died almost 8 years ago, I am stronger. I know it gets better. I want everyone to know that it does get better, what ever struggle you are having, it does get better. 

SPW Blog #4

Today’s blog comes from Kay, about how she overcame issues in her life. We’re posting daily blogs from supporters & staff, and we’re hosting a live show this Saturday @ 7PM est. Please join us! 

When I was in seventh grade I had a really tough time in my school, and in life in general. Everything just wasn’t okay. Waking up in the morning was one of the worst things to go through, along with going to school. I wasn’t sure how to deal with my depression. So I started cutting. Eventually the cutting wasn’t enough to get me by. I attempted suicide ten plus times within the course of two years. It never worked.
In ninth grade there was a new counselour at school, and I told her about my cutting. And how I was suicidal. She helped me a ton.
As of today I’m Two years, Nine months, and Two weeks clean of cutting. I haven’t contemplated taking my life in a year. I remember thinking I’d never get to where I am now, but I did. And it’s the best feeling ever. Recovery is possible. Don’t give up, ever.
- Kay

SPW Blog #3

Hey Guys, 

Today’s blog comes from Trinity, here’s her story. We’re posting daily blogs from supporters & staff to honor Suicide Prevention Week. We’re also hosting a live show this Saturday @ 7PM est on Stickam.com/JimmyElliott

Hello my name is Trinity and its been about 3 years since my brother attempted suicide. The night before he attempted suicide he paid his closest attention to me when i came and visited my father. (my parents are divorced so i get as much time as i can.) My brother and i fought alot when we were kids so it felt kind of strange all of the attention i was getting all of a sudden. As i left the house to go back to my moms he ran out to give me a hug, A rather tight hug i should say. “remember even though we fight alot, ill always love you.” We exchanged goodbyes and left.

The next morning as I was getting ready for school, the hospital called my mom and had told her that my brother had attempted suicide by overdosing on Benadryl. I was in the room while this went on. Tears welted up my eyes and instead of feeling sad i was…angry. Of all things in that situation why anger? well his girlfriend whom i knew quite well had told him she flat out didnt love him anymore which drove him to that. they dated for years before this. As my mother and i drove to the hospital the next day to check on his status, he was a mess… some may know and some may not but benedrel is a hallucigen if you over dose.

He had no idea who or what he was, who our parents were, but as I walked in the hospital room…he smiled at me and motioned me to him to give him a hug. me… of all people, the one who fought with him relentlessly. He remembered me. The next few days he was back to normal and had no idea what happened. When i finally got him alone to talk with him, and ask why he would do that, no staight answer but a hug and the words “i love you sis.” now just about 3 years after, he has a job and is happy with what hes doing. Hes in college and getting a degree in veteranary science, and a bond between brother and sister is restored.

-Trinity