Holding of Wrist

Memorial Day is a very special day. I (Derin) am a related to a living veteran of two recent wars. Since this holiday is so special to me, we want to offer a giant “thank-you” from the entire Holding of Wrist team to all the veterans, current or retired, and their families for all they do for this great country.

This day has long been a tradition in our country to mark the service of veterans, particularly those who gave their lives for freedom. Many have forgotten that part of that tradition is to pause by participating in a moment of silence at 3 PM local time. In order to set the tone, we are asking all of our supporters to do so as all the HOW team will be doing so as well.

To all our supporters, please keep in mind, this is a solemn day to remember those who have died; however, it is also a day to focus on the needs of our surviving veterans. Many veterans from the Iraq and Afghanistan Wars are coming home with “invisible” wounds. These invisible wounds come in many different forms. One of the most common is post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), a condition which can cause them to relive the horrors of the battlefield again and again. As an advocacy organization and support network for those suffering from mental illness related to self-injury, we realize the impact these issues have. In the past decade, suicides among service members have spiked tremendously. Recently the Department of Veterans Affairs has done more to treat PTSD and fight veteran suicide. This is only the start. There is still more to be done and more to help out with.

Like Derin, I (Colleen) am related to a service member. My father served in the US Navy. He retired in 2003 as a Senior Master Chief, the highest honor. He was a sonar tech and knew everything and everything about missiles and warheads. Growing up, my father was home for 3-4 months and out to “sea” 3-4 months. It was very inconsistent and very awkward growing up. On holidays like this, we often forget about the families who serve in the military. No, I have never been on the battlefield, and neither has the 4 other family members in my family; however, my family fought to keep afloat. We fought to stay normal. We fought to stay close. It was hard having my dad in and out of my family. I would wake up crying some nights because I thought that my daddy would be gone forever. I will never forget that to this day. Now that my dad is retired, the dreams have become less and less, but that feeling still remains. 

So please, on this Memorial Day, remember who sacrificed their lives for freedom and consider how we can better treat those who have survived wars and the military. Above all, remember the old adage: All gave some, some gave all. Thank you to our veterans and current service members, our heroes, for your service. 

Please, at 3 pm today, join with us and give a moment of silence to those who have fallen in the name of freedom. Thank you.

-Derin Dacey & Colleen Gilfoy

They said she had the potential but would never amount to anything great.

Kerri Strug will live in Olympic history forever. In 1996 (before some of you were born,) the Summer Olympics were held in Atlanta, Georgia. That summer, the woman’s gymnastics team made history. I remember being so enthralled with the Olympics that year. I was 8 years old and fascinated with gymnastics. My 98 lbs of barrel chested with a side of chicken legs dreamed of one day being in the Olympics was conceived because of the intensity of these games.

They were called the Magnificent 7. They were the seven members of the 1996 Woman’s Olympic Gymnastics team formed of Shannon Miller, Dominique Moceanu, Dominique Dawes, Amy Chow, Amanda Borden, Jaycie Phelps, and Kerri Strug. You may recongize some of these names if you have followed the Olympics or watch the ABC Family Series called “Make It or Break It.” To me, they were my heros. They were who I aspired to be.

See, the Magnificent 7 wasn’t just any team in Woman’s Olympic Gymnastics history. Up until this time, the Soviet Union (Russia) had won the event in EVERY Olympic Games since it entered in the 1950s. Additionally, no US team had ever won the event in the Olympics OR World Championships. Yet, in 1996, a girl named Kerri Strug changed all that.

That night, in the gymnastics world, the teams sent their best gymnasts to compete in individual events that they specialized in. Jaycie Phelps started off the night with the uneven bars and had a fantastic routine. All seemed well for the Americans as they were points over the Russians and the Romanians.

But then, almost like clock work, the dreams for gold seemed to slip from their fingers as Dominique Moceanu, a cute 14 year old girl, fell on both her vaults. Next up, and last up, was Kerri Strug.

See, Kerri wasn’t really a favorite. She wasn’t picked first or second or even third. She was just the bland flavor. She was known for having potential but choking at the last second.

Have you ever felt like that was you? It’s all on the line and you’re up the bat. You have gone through the steps one by one meticulously to where you could do them backwards and forwards in your mind… but every time you try to execute them you fail?

A few years prior, Kerri Strug suffered a HUGE back problem when she injured herself in a similar situation on the uneven bars in an all-or-nothing situation. She was known for choking. She was known for failing time after time. She was known to let people down and to feel the weight of her mistake. She had tasted the fear…

.. but she NEVER let it stop her from making history.

Her first fault, Kerri fell. Just another example how she couldn’t do anything right as the United States’ dream of having their first ever woman’s team gold medal was slipping away.

Not to mention, Kerri was hurt.
She would either be the girl who led her nation to gold or the little girl who let it all slip away.

The fall on her vault did something to her ankle. Doctors would later tell her that she tore two ligaments on her left ankle. Ligaments connect bone to bone. This is a serious injury.

Another thing that Kerri had dealt with is the series of coaches she had switched around with. In 1992, she competed in the Olympics with Coach Bela Karolyi; however, Coach Karolyi retired after the Olympics and Kerri had to decide if she was still going to be a gymnast.

See, switching coaches isn’t like switching Biology teachers or moving up a grade in school or changing schools. The coach makes or breaks a gymnast. They are the ones that control your practices. They train you inside and outside the gym. They have to have ALL of your trust and know EVERYTHING about you. It is an intimate relationship that cannot be formed over-night. When Kerri decided to stay in the sport and switch coaches, she found herself staring down the barrel of self doubt, body issues, and injuries to her stomach (those injuries have not come into detail and probably won’t, but I can only assume that they are issues like many who face depression and self-harm.)

So! Back to the 1996 games where it is all on the line for 18-year-old Kerri. She needs to stick this landing IF the United States have any SHOT at Olympic gold.

Suddenly, she hears her old coach, the one who came out of retirement, say, “You can do it, Kerri.”

And so, she runs.

Then, with a burst of energy (and what feels like minutes as you’re holding your breath on the edge of your seat), Kerri lands her vault, one-footed.

Thirty-two THOUSAND people errupt in joy as the Americans DID it.

The American Woman’s Gymnastic team made history on the back of a girl who was told her WHOLE life that she can’t do anything great.

Kerri proved them wrong.

So, after my long story and the tears of joy roll down my face, I want to tell you: NEVER give up even when all odds are NOT in your favor. Don’t let people look down on you or cast judgment. It isn’t over until it’s over. And never forget, we’re cheering for you. “You can do it.”

Like Nike says, “Just do it.” Well, friend, just do it. Just do your best. It doesn’t matter what others say or do. Do you. You are the best. It takes time. It took Kerri 12 years to see results from any sort of training. She trained her whole life for that ONE vault. The one vault no one thought she’d stick…. but she did. And now, the choice is yours.

Don’t listen to the negativity.
We’re on your side and cheering you on.
You can be anything you want to be.

Love cures pain.
Love heals hearts.
Love is you.
Love is me.

more info.

Some photos:

“Kerri Landing her vault AFTER injuring herself”

“This one is after falling. I LOVE this expression THE MOST”

“This is the real poster I had in my room to inspire me EVERY day.”

“This was me back in 1997, after the olympics, with my gymnastics team… showing off poses.”

-Colleen Gilfoy

Multimedia Director, Holding of Wrist

A card can say everything you want it to. Hallmark makes millions on those gifts to remind mom you care. Status’ on facebook read, “Being a mom is the greatest joy of my life.” I wonder why people find joy in being a mother. As I may not be a mother, I do have an awesome mother. 

When I was a teenager, I didn’t think my mom was cool at all. I tried to do my own thing and separate myself from my mom. I grew to resent her for things that were out of both of our control. As a I grew older, I realized I am exactly like my mom. 

ME! This silly, hyper, and outrageous girl “trying-to-be-a-woman” has found similarities between myself and my own mother. We have the same laugh, smile, and hug. We get emotional at the same part in the same movie. We both like to wear dark skinny jeans. But the one thing my mother has that I do not have is the title “mother.” See, my mom saw my self harm SIX years ago and changed my life. She reminded me that there is life in brokenness, and I am loved. I never believed those words until my mother said them.

Moms are one of the most underappreciated occupations in the world. They hold a household together. They manage to cook dinner, clean, do dishes, help with homework, and dance with you in the kitchen while listening to the Beatles and balancing budgets. They are guidance and love. They do it all.

I have no idea how I will be as a mother. I mean, I’ve babysat before for as many as 5 kids. I can’t even begin to fathom having a job like that WITHOUT PAY, mind you, every day of every hour. I don’t understand how they don’t worry themselves to death about every little thing their children do. How can they hold a home together and do so without effort. Mother’s are close to perfect.

Today, think beyond yourself. Look at yourself in the mirror. Each person has a “mom” because, well, you had to be physically birthed into this world, but not everyone has a “mother.” Whoever your mother figure is whether it’s your mom, your dad, your sister/brother, grandparent, aunt, uncle, or whomever, remind them that you love them. Remind them that they are appreciated. Look to them for your similarities. Watch them movie. Watch them dance. But most of all, hold on to them dearly. You won’t get this second back again. 

This day is often a reminder to those who don’t physically have a mother anymore due to death, illness, or other discrepancies. And, to those who don’t have one, I am very sorry and wish I could hug you and give you a present for living such a life without a mother. You should be appreciated today.

Remember, we wouldn’t be in this world without a mom. So, go tell yours that you are thankful for them. I mean, they birthed you. 

Hold on to life and thank your mothers.

With that, happy Sunday.

Be blessed.
Love cures pain.
Love heals hearts.
Love is you.
Love is me.
Happy Mother’s Day.

-Colleen 

Multimedia Director, Holding of Wrist

Every April, hundreds of thousands commemorate the National Day of Silence in honor of those who cannot speak for themselves. Today marked the 17th annual Day of Silence. WOW! How perfect that my first blog as a full staff member would be on a day such as this. I have been commemorating this day since I was in middle school (yeah, that was 10 years ago…) This year has been different than any other year. Instead of being a student, I am a teacher. 

Today, I felt like the theme of it all wasn’t just an extreme version of “the quiet game.” That would be a bit pointless. The theme throughout the day was “hope.” As a teacher, I want each student that filters through my classroom to feel that same hope I have. See, when I was in the middle school, I lacked any hope that things would get better. I felt like no one was fighting for me. No one cared about me. No one wanted me around. I was trapped and alone. 

I know I am not the first or last person to think those brutal thoughts. I used to ask myself, “HOW will this get better? HOW can I have hope? HOW can I smile day to day? HOW can I help myself? HOW do I survive middle school?” Well, instead of just sitting back and doing nothing and complaining that life handed me some tough situations, I wanted to do something. I want to give others hope. 

So, four years ago, I joined HOW as an intern and am proud to say I am now working for Holding of Wrist, or HOW. Instead of asking questions like “HOW can I help myself?” I am now asking myself, “HOW can I help others?” The answers to life are ALWAYS found within. WE are stronger than we know. That’s HOW we get better. That’s HOW we heal. That’s HOW we know life is better. Life is worth living when we live together. 

I can’t sit here and tell you that I feel 100% every day all the time. I can’t tell you that I haven’t thought about my anxiety and depression. I can’t tell you that my life is perfect AT all. I can tell you that life is worth living. I can tell you that you can HAVE hope. I can tell you that HOW is reaching out to those who don’t have a voice for themselves. I can tell you that your “HOW will this…?” questions can be solved by reaching out and loving all. Just know that it doesn’t HAVE to make sense. Just know it will always get better.

My day of silence was a reminder of what I do and what is in my path. This day of silence is starting off my now permanent role at HOW as your voice of the multimedia world. I love you all and I am so glad to be on this journey with you. 

Remember, love cures pain.
Hope is better than you know.
And you are important. 

Be blessed.

-Colleen

Hey Guys!

So exciting stuff has been in the works for quite a while, and we’re finally ready to release it! Holding of Wrist now has *drum roll please*….. shirts!! We teamed up with District Lines to make the cheapest possible shirt, while also having a high-quality feel (printed on American Apparel)! 

This is so exciting! District Lines also host merch for bands like AFI, A Lifelike Story, Aiden, All American Rejects, Anberlin, Bayside, Breathe Carolina, Cute is What We Aim For, deadmau5, Dashboard Confessional, Escape the Fate, Gym Class Heroes, Hit The Lights, Lamb of God, NeverShoutNever, Owl City, Paramore, The Ready Set, The Used, Underoath, and so much more! 

Take a look at them below and go to http://www.districtlines.com/holdingofwrist to purchase one of the first ever Holding of Wrist shirts in the world!! 

                I have a warning for you.  College is tough.  Between the homework, making new friends, trying to find your way around campus, handling your new found freedom from Mom and Dad, and everything else, you are going to get stressed!  But don’t worry, college is also amazing.  As a freshman at The College of William and Mary, I can attest to this.  I’ve met so many new friends, found so many new things to get involved in and discovered a lot about myself in these past 6 months or so.  Unfortunately, not everyone thrives in college.

On Sunday, February 12 a fellow freshman by the name of Troy Pelish took his life.  I don’t know the details of what led up to his suicide but I do know this: I wish I could have reached him in time.  I didn’t know Troy, but he lived in the dorm building right next to mine and I’m sure that we passed each other at times on campus.  There is certainly a somber feeling on campus today, especially in my dorm, as many people who lived here knew Troy.

            As a supporter of and organizer for Holding of Wrist, I try to counsel people through tough times and show them the other options instead of suicide.  As I said, I don’t know what preceded Troy’s choice to take his own life but I wish I could have been there for him.  However, it will not help to dwell on the past.  Instead, I am making myself available for those that are here, many of whom need counseling and a shoulder to cry on in this tough time.

            I also want to reach out to you, Dear Reader.  I want you to know that whether you feel unlucky at love, your family seems not to care, you are suffering from a debilitating disease, you are struggling with your own identity, or whether it is just an unexplained depression, you are LOVED, CHERISHED, BEAUTIFUL, AMAZING, PERFECT just the way you are.  I couldn’t be there for Troy, but I am here for you.  Holding of Wrist is here for you.  We love you.  We will help you, or we will guide you to resources to help you.  Do NOT think you are alone.

“For in love, there exists power but it is a power that is and must be shared.” 

-Derin Dacey, Holding of Wrist

Hey! We hope you’re having a wonderful day; But, at the same time- we know wonderful days are sometimes hard to come by. Other things can get in the way of those wonderful days, things like depression & self-harm. We know how difficult it is to struggle through depression & self-harm. Self-Harm can quickly become an addiction, and something very difficult to stop. 

Sometimes you feel so alone and that there is no escape while you’re struggling. Well, I’m here to tell you that there is an escape, it’s love. There are people that know what you’re going through and you’re never alone! 

Holding of Wrist is partnering up with JusticeForAllRevolution.com for a second time! We’ll be hosting a LIVE CHAT on the topics depression & self-harm. So come join us at JusticeForAllRevolution.com on February 11th, 8-10pm EST!

We do suggest making a JFAR (anonymous) account prior to the event, for more info on that and the event please click here.  

Remember that you’re loved & talk to you there!
-Jimmy Elliott

Founder, Holding of Wrist 

Thank you. Thank you for supporting Holding of Wrist another year, it means more than you will ever know! When I say that we wouldn’t be here without you, its the truth- we really wouldn’t. 

New Start. We took all blog views back to zero and wondered if people would read.

You are beautiful.

Nominated for a Shorty Award! 

We all need a break at some point. “but I feel the need to offer more time to myself.”

Live webcast. 

You helped us keep our website around.

All Time Low saved Katie! ”I burned the note. I have never felt more liberated in my life.”

We celebrated Day of Silence. Again.

2009 Intern and great friend, Colleen, talked to us about Mothers Day.

Melissa sent us a letter!

We released details of our “Shout It Loud, I’m so Beautiful” project!!

I reflect on memories of loosing someone I loved.

Our “Shout it Loud, I’m So Beautiful” project COMPLETED!

Holding of Wrist celebrated three years!

I changed the whole mission statement of Holding of Wrist.

We celebrated those who came out on National Coming Out Day!

10-year-old Ashlynn passes away to suicide.

Had a live chat about bullying.

and Told you Happy Holidays!

2011 has been beyond an amazing year for Holding of Wrist, might I even say the best year! We replied to over 15,000 e-mails in just the past year, estimating over 60000 since 2008 (not including myspace messages)! But, it’s not done- 2012 is coming and it will be amazing!

In early 2012 we’ll be bringing in four more staff members to help operate Holding of Wrist alongside Matthew McCaigue (our graphic designer), and myself, Jimmy Elliott (founder)! Along those lines, we’ll also be bringing in 4-5 interns to also help with the moving forward of Holding of Wrist!

If you asked me a little over three years ago what I would be doing in 2011, I would have said “hopefully dead”. Here I am, doing something, and loving it. So as 2011 ends, I reflect on the positives and embrace 2012!!

-Jimmy Elliott

Founder, Holding of Wrist

It’s Thursday, December 22nd, around 6, and I can hear the raindrops on the rooftop. I’ve called my sisters apartment “home” for the past few days. I Wondered around Richmond City, walked to the same 7-Eleven each morning JUST for the freedom of walking through the streets, had crappy 7-Eleven pizza with my sister,which actually wasn’t that bad, and almost had an electrical fire.

It’s been a lot of fun! I mean, sure I can do the same thing back home, but back home there are no streets, there are no 7-Elevens, and the most adventure you get is walking through the same woods you’ve walked through millions of times before. Just the thrill of adventure down here is fun, and as we approach the holidays, even more fun! 

Yep, it’s holiday time already- kind of hard to believe. The time when people rush to the stores to get those gifts that they spend sometimes months thinking about, and just seconds to give away, time to decorate the Christmas tree, light the candles, take time off of work, and spend ALL your time with friends and family. When lights line the streets and you can see the Christmas tree all lit up through windows. 

The holidays can also be a difficult time for many. It can be a time of loneliness, depression, economic stress, separation from family or loved ones, and personal grief. We want you to know that you’re not alone in what you’re going through. People can and do relate to you, your situation, and what you’re feeling. You’re loved now more than ever, just please remember that this year.

With that, I must let you know that Holding of Wrist will be shutting down December 23rd-27th. E-mails will be read, however, they will not be replied to till the 28th. I hope that all of you have a fantastic holiday. And even if you don’t have someone to spend it with, make the most of it- it only comes around once a year.

Love you all,

-Jimmy Elliott

Founder, Holding of Wrist